THE BEACON ON THE BOULEVARD

      I use to be more guarded, hidden and divided within myself. I always tried to smile, be friendly, say hello and thank you. All these things are good, but perhaps I would just put on that face,
concealing how I really felt: when I felt miserable, weary, unhappy, angry, burdened or resentful. The reason why, aside from insecurities, (I had quite a few) was because I hadn’t really entrusted myself with Jesus yet. I didn’t learn yet how to fully entrust myself, as I was with Him. The more we entrust ourselves to Jesus, the more we become ourselves. None of us are walking
saints. He doesn’t want us to trust what is only good with Him. He doesn’t ask perfection of us to go to Him. He wants us to just be ourselves and trust Him as we are, moment to moment,
each day. The more who we are is how we are with Him, the more we become ourselves. The more genuine, honest and human we are in our own skin, there becomes less separation from being our honest self with others too. Freedom in our life with God and others is being transparent and undivided. Integrity starts with being our honest, undivided self.
      These days it seems I can’t hide anything. I’ve always been a bad liar. (Hence I don’t do it) It seems even my face gives me away. Sometimes people say “You’re always happy.” I assure them I’m not always happy, but I try to be…via the Lord. I’m always happy when we pray in Church. I remember one heavy week, I felt like the world was on my shoulders, through no one’s fault. It’s funny though, three people that week saw my face and said “What’s wrong with
you?” So I had no choice but to open up and let them minister to me. Humility, humanity and holiness grow through honesty and having nothing to hide. Let’s start with being transparent with Jesus. Allow your self to feel moments of comfort or joy however he wants to give them. Allow your self to feel remorse for your sins because He is loving you in showing you them. Let Him lead your thoughts, emotions and soul in prayer. Let your sorrow and frustrations be known to Him, even vent or throw a tantrum when you need to, so you can let them go. Trust the only normal we can always rely on is “Jesus doesn’t change.” May the self we are with Him be more
the self we are with others. The more we share our whole, unreserved self with Jesus, the more freely He will lead us through this Advent journey with Him, in Him and towards Him.