THE BEACON ON THE BOULEVARD

   I have had friends, parishioners and family tell me at times “I think you’re a little OCD.” I was told, as a child, I would cut up every piece of steak before eating it. Maybe this doesn’t surprise some of you. I also have a messy side. I can’t deny I have always liked the dishwasher packed “my way.” I have been trained to not walk away from dinner until the kitchen is clean. It bugs me having other people’s Tupperware, until I give it back. OH, every picture, statue and decoration has its exact place. Every meal I prepare for myself is a production and a work of art. These are a few things. Many things for me have some kind of ritual. In regards to Mass, favorite thing: I am happily tedious about the altar, where everything is, how it all looks and every word with intention. We pray as we are but Jesus deserves our best. Something tells me I’m not the only one out there with OCD tendencies. In reality, I don’t have a disorder and most
don’t. We like things a certain way, go out of our way and feel gratified when things feel right. Taken the right way under God, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. We want life to make sense. Order feels good. The desire and compulsion for having things in their right place is fitting for my calling, as is yours. It points to the desire for the one perfect place, by God’s grace, where  we will be one day be. Heaven is perfect. There are no more questions, confusion, chaos,
problems, difficulties or unfinished business. This is only a tiny glimpse of how we are not there yet.

        We can’t help being compulsive, but being obsessive can miss out on life or what’s more important, right in front of our face. We can become like Martha obsessing over makings perfect for Jesus, worse ourselves, that we miss out on Jesus. If we chase order and perfection every day, we might never rest or collapse restless when things still aren’t sorted. This is just with work or home life. If  we are OCD about our appearance, reputation, accomplishments or role
among others, we can lose ourselves in “being” what we do, rather than who we are. “What does it profit a person to gain the whole world, and forfeit his life?” (Mark 8:36) What can be even more damaging is controlling persons or relationships to our desires and design, at the cost of their soul, peace or dignity as a person. Even the right thing done forcefully can hurt someone’s spirit and offend God. May we strive for perfection, but be at peace with being present, amidst the mess of uncertainties, unfinished business and unresolved issues. As usual, that make Jesus Lord.