THE BEACON ON THE BOULEVARD

              “For when GOD loves, all He desires is to be loved in return; the sole purpose of His Love is to be loved, in the knowledge that those who love HIM are made happy by their love of Him.  Is all this to wilt just because she cannot match stride for stride with her giant, any more than she can vie with honey for sweetness, rival the lamb for gentleness, show herself as white as the lily, burn as bright as the sun, be equal in love with Him Who is Love?  No. It is true that the creature loves less because she is less.” (Sermo.83:4-6; 300-30)  Words from St. Bernard: my heart delights when I see his writing.  “The creature loves less because she IS-LESS.”  This made me chuckle because I know this well and I love that this is true.  Of course the creature is utterly incapable to love their Creator more than He loves them, because they are less.  So accept it, but with gratitude and relief, but with great humility at being loved by Him more than we could ever deserve, repay or earn, no matter how good we’re trying to be for Him and how terribly we constantly fail.  So often I say “We accept the love we think we deserve.”  That doesn’t leave much space to be loved by Our God.  We want to be big enough for Jesus to go to Him, so we back away.  We want to change ourselves to be more worthy of love and we fail, so we turn our hearts from Him, doubting He can change us, thinking He will change us by force, rather than love.  Maybe we’re afraid of being loved so mercifully, sensing that kind of love will change us.  Control feels more comfortable, but out of fear.  Mercy lowers our defenses and obstacles to love.  Forgiveness frees us but only if it weakens us first, as to be loved first.  “We don’t avoid sin to go to Jesus, we go to Jesus to avoid sin.”
       Why do you think my Crucifix goes almost everywhere I go?  To encourage, relieve, soften me and constantly draw my trust to the surface.  It is also in the hope that others who don’t know will learn to know what I and others do: this is who Jesus is towards you.  This is the way God loves us.  We can only be less.  This is how He loves us: always more, but yearning for an ever-deepening love in return.  “Jesus, you deserve so much more than I give you, but what I give you is everything I have to give.  Expand our capacity to love in being loved by you as we truly and entirely offer you the little we have to give, as little children offering an apple to their parent who picked it for them.”  Owning how weak we are in loving God with all our heart, our strength and our being, why not let HIM love US with all His heart, His strength and His being.